I consider each day as another chance to be better than I was yesterday. It’s easy to get caught up in who you currently are that you might not realise that it’s not the best version of yourself that you can possibly be. We always want to upgrade everything else in our lives like the phone that you have to the car that you drive all the way to the house that you live in, so it’s only fair that you upgrade the person you are.
Some people might say “Why would you criticise yourself?” and I say well if I want to hear criticism from anyone I’d like to hear it from myself. Get to know your bad attributes and turn your negatives into positives. If you don’t know what’s wrong with you you’ll never know how to improve. We all need to start from somewhere so below I have listed six ways how you can improve yourself:
1. Don’t Be An Attention Seeker
There are certain people who naturally make all the heads in the room spin when they enter. However, there are others who have the need to always be the centre of attention and will do whatever it takes to get it. Even at someone’s wedding or birthday party they try to make it about them!
We’ve all met a person like this or even worse, we’ve been this person. Instead of drawing people towards you, this type of behaviour repels people. Eventually, to others it won’t matter how beautiful or handsome or how much of a genuinely nice person you are because they’ll grow tired of these antics and might even feel like they’re always in your shadow because all eyes MUST be on you.
It doesn’t always come from a bad place though. You might not even be aware of this behaviour. It’s important to always take a step back and be conscious of the people around you. Try not to be too boisterous or interrupt people when they’re talking. Practice being a listener rather than always being the talker.
2. Drink Less
I once saw a quote that said “Any woman can drink, but it takes a lady to know when to stop”. There’s nothing wrong with having a drink or two but knowing your limit is key. This goes both for men and women.
The thing with drinking is that if you dont know your limit and you end up getting wasted you might say or do things that you wouldn’t even dare to attempt while sober. You might end up doing things you’ll regret the next day. You don’t want to be the one who starts a fight at the club or go home and start a fight with your family. You should be very mindful about your actions because they always have consequences. Recording every little thing has become the norm for society. If you start doing embarrassing things while you’re out having fun and it happens to get captured on someone’s camera then it gets posted online, those pictures or videos will live on the internet forever. Even if they get deleted, people don’t forget stuff easily. Never put yourself in a position that will affect your reputation.
3. Avoid Using Foul Language
No one is perfect and everyone has dropped an F-bomb here and there. However, if every other word that escapes your mouth is a swear word or you constantly use vulgar expressions, it ends up making you come off as rude and disrespectful. Of course, if you’re casually hanging out with your friends you don’t want to feel like you’re having tea with the queen so you might have the urge to speak like you usually do. However, this might end up keeping you back from getting rid of this nasty habit. You’ll notice that when you’re in a situation where you need to control your tongue, it will be difficult since you’re so accustomed to it. For this reason it’s better to refrain from using foul language altogether even when you’re alone. Eventually you will overcome it.
4. Expand Your Vocabulary
After you have mastered not swearing, you might want to learn new words to make your conversations more colourful. These new words should be positive ones though! If you want to improve yourself, try to expand your vocabulary. You can achieve this by:
● Reading books
● Looking up the meaning of a word if you don’t know it
● Playing games like scrabble or doing crossword puzzles.
● If you really want to, you can even try what I did at one point… reading the dictionary.
However, you have to make it become a part of who you are. Make it natural. Don’t force it or else you’ll just come off as tasteless and pretentious. In other words you’ll sound like a little fancy-pants.
5. Be Confident
Being confident is not synonymous with being egotistical. Don’t go around telling people what an incredibly wonderful person you are. Just be proud in your own skin and be secure in everything you do. If you’re unsure about something, don’t be too haughty to ask for assistance or advice. Don’t pretend like you know everything and refuse help from others. Everyday we should learn something new so never pass up an opportunity to learn. The more you learn, the more confident you’ll be in yourself and you can end up helping others in the future. Don’t be clueless (as if!) but don’t be arrogant.
6. Dress Appropriately
Dressing appropriately does not mean that you need to cover yourself from head to toe if that isn’t your ideal look. What this means is simply dressing according to the occasion. Always remember that you are not dressing yourself for others; you are dressing yourself for you. Wear things that you will be comfortable in. The more comfortable you are, the more confident you will be. If you feel like you aren’t skilled enough to wear 6 inch stilettos then just don’t. Practice walking in them more before you think about wearing them to a garden party and end up sinking into the soft grass. If there is a dress code you should definitely stick to it. If you happen to show up underdressed/overdressed you might end up feeling out of place.
Another thing is to avoid wearing ill fitted clothing. You want people to see YOU wearing the outfit, not the OUTFIT wearing you. Try to get items in your correct size, colours that don’t clash with your complexion, cuts that suit your body type and styles that complement your best features rather than making the ones you aren’t particularly fond of more prominent. For example, I’m pretty short so I usually like to show a little bit of ankle whenever I wear trousers as it gives me the appearance of having longer legs. I also opt for slightly pointed toe shoes instead of squared or rounded ones as those tend to cut me off and make me look shorter. By wearing the correct colours, sizes and styles you create a look that will flatter you the most.
Self improvement is a major lifelong project that we need to work on every single day. It’s not about nitpicking and judging every aspect of yourself. It’s about recognising that you are flawed but you can be better. You deserve to be better for yourself. Whenever you make positive changes in your life, there will be positive results.
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